The Struggle is Real

This is not going to be my funniest post.  I’ve started to write so many times but I get bogged down trying to decide if what I’m writing is fun or fit for every audience and then I stop.  I’m not gonna stop today.

I’m in a funk and I hate it.  I typically don’t do well in the winter-after daylight savings time in October it’s a struggle until the next time change.  I know I’m not the only one who struggles with it, so why should I be afraid to write about it?  It’s ok if some people call it negativity or laziness. Yes, I know there are a million things to be thankful for and yes, I’ve tried making a gratitude list.

how-deepkDepression is a hateful thing.  It maen I shouldn’t be.  It makes me look with boredom at the things that used to spark my imagination.  It makes me not care about the things that formerly got me excited.  It just makes everything a struggle.  It’s like plodding through thick mud to get to a destination and every so often the mud sucks my boots off and I have to go back and pull it out and put it on again and it’s freaking exhausting.

 

ffSometimes I wish I hibernated like bears do. I could sleep away the winter and wake up when the daffodils poke through and when the dogwoods bloom in the woods.  I wouldn’t have to worry about offending others with my negativity and unexplainable sadness.  But that’s not my reality and I’m trying very hard to deal in realities these days.  Here’s the reality–I’m not Sandy Duncan in a Wheat Thins or Stayfree commercial.  I’m glad there are happy people in the world and I truly wish I was part of that group but I’m not right now.

I don’t want advice on how to be happy because if it were that easy I would’ve figured it out in these forty-three years I’ve walked this earth.  I’m gonna keep trudging through the mud but I’m not gonna kill myself trying to skip and run. It’s okay right now to drink Cokes like they’re going out of style (that’s never gonna happen). It’s ok to eat a straight diet of boiled peanuts and Oreos. It’s not ok to eat the Oreos in bed, though.  It is what it is right now and I’m feeling like I need to cut myself some slack and treat my inner little girl with love and acceptance.

as-i-forgiveWow! I actually wrote a post!  I truly can’t believe it.  Yay, Me!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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